Why am I always in a suit & tie?
Why am I always in a suit & tie? - Hallo World !!! News Today in World, In this article you read by title Why am I always in a suit & tie?, We've prepared this article well so you can read and retrieve information on it. Hopefully the contents of the post
Article LIFT, What we write can you understand. Okay, happy reading.
Title : Why am I always in a suit & tie?
link : Why am I always in a suit & tie?
You are now reading the article Why am I always in a suit & tie? With link address https://newstoday-ok.blogspot.com/2018/04/why-am-i-always-in-suit-tie.html
Title : Why am I always in a suit & tie?
link : Why am I always in a suit & tie?
news-today.world | Hi guys, some of my recent articles have been quite serious and I was about to start another serious one and I thought, no let's do something a bit more lighthearted and fun. I saw a video on Youtube recently by a South African Youtube based in China Winston Sterzel otherwise known as Serpentza about why he always appears in a suit and tie in his videos, despite the fact that he is self-employed and can basically wear what he likes. I invite you to watch his video below where he shares his story. Now for those of you who do follow me on Instagram, you will see that I am also always in a suit and tie apart from when I am on holiday or doing sports. I don't do the smart casual thing in London - I'm always very formally attired and that means a suit and tie when I am out and about. So like Serpentza, since I have embraced the suited look for so many years already, I am now going to share with you why I am also always so smarted suited.
Now firstly, allow me to explain what I do for a living in a nutshell and how that relates to my everyday work attire.I work on the sales desk for a corporate finance consultancy specializing in listed debt instruments - so whilst I am facing the customers all the time, there really isn't a need to be as formal as I am. One of the directors that I used to work for often rocked up to the meetings in a shirt and jeans and across the spectrum of people whom I deal with, the dress code tends to range from casual to very formal depending whom you deal with in financial services. There isn't a dress code as such - people wear what they want to which can be anything really these days. I have a bunch of accountants in my company's back office - they hide away in the office all day, working away at their computers and never ever meet the clients, that's why they tend to show up at work in jeans and T-shirts all the time. Quite frankly, nobody cares what they wear as long as they get the work done. I choose to be suited but more to the point, I not only take great pride in my appearance but enjoy dressing up formally. There are many guys who do post selfies of themselves formally dressed on Instagram and most of us follow each others to get inspiration and ideas for how to dress up formally. Quite frankly, the validation I get from those guys means much more to me than my colleagues because I know they understand me, oh the wonders of social media! There is a dedicated suit and tie community on Instagram and I'm proud to be a part of it.
There is quite a difference between guys who wear a suit because it is the dress code for their work environment but they either dislike it or can't bring themselves to say they like wearing a suit. Then there are those like me who genuinely enjoy wearing a suit and tie. I suppose at some level, it is hard to explain why you like something - it is the same way say you like the taste of mango. If you have never had mango before, then you would taste it and without thinking, your mind would then decide if this was an experience you either enjoyed or disliked. So if you ask me why I like mangoes, I suppose I couldn't give you a more complex answer than 'I like the taste of it' - likewise, when you make some guys dress up, some will instantly dislike having to do so whilst others will like it. Or likewise, I can ask you to listen to a song and whether you like it or not is pretty much a gut reaction. So for example, let's take the song Makeba by French singer Jain - the first time I stumbled upon the track on Youtube, I totally fell in love with it. I had no idea who Jain was, there was just something about the beat that made me stop whatever I was doing and think, hey this song is awesome. Try this: please play the music video below and I think within the first minute or so, you'll probably decide if you like it or not.
So yes, I suit up because I like dressing up very much, it is something that appeals to me and I think I look far more attractive when in a smart suit and tie than say, in a pair of shorts and T-shirt. I believe that a man who dresses up looks like he has something important to do and he is making the effort to impress the people he is going to meet. Let's take the example of Mark Zuckerberg, CEO of Facebook who recently had to face the Congress in America over the issue of privacy on Facebook. Did Zuckerberg show up in his usual 'jeans and T-shirt' look? No, it was one of the very few times that he was actually pictured in public in a proper suit and tie. The fact is the politicians Zuckerberg had to face were all formally dressed, so if he had turned up dressed casually, that would probably come across as disrespectful, it would probably send out the wrong message that he didn't take the whole process seriously enough. So to avoid getting off to a bad start and making a bad situation even worse, Zuckerberg dressed up formally for Congress. Now as a salesman, I don't know what my clients may wear to the meetings, but do I want to take the risk of showing up at a meeting dressed less formally than them and risk sending out the wrong message? No, not when there's a sale on the line. Making sales means earning commissions, so I do whatever it takes to make sure I get the sale in order to make the money I want.
Having done quite a lot of TV and film work in the past, I have been through loads of costume fittings in the past. For those of you who are not familiar with this process, allow me to explain how it works. You turn up at the wardrobe department and the head of wardrobe would have a few ideas about how to dress your character - you will then try on a few options they have selected for you, each time you have put on a costume, you will then stand in front of say the head of costume, the director and a couple of others and they will then decide if that is the right look for the character. They will then scrutinize every detail, every accessory - what message does this send to the viewer about the character? What do we know about the character from the script? How can we pick an item of clothing or accessory to make that clear to the viewers? Everything from the choice of socks to hat to even a tiny detail like if the character wears a wedding ring, what kind of wedding ring would he wear? If there is a close up on the character's hands and we can see the ring, what kind of message do we want the viewers to get when they catch a glimpse of that ring? That's what we do when we're watching a film or TV programme instinctively, so why would it be any different in real life? Have a look at the mirror, what kind of character would you be if you appeared in a film or TV programme? Why would the viewers arrive at that conclusion? Take a look at this photo below: what kind of character do you think he would play with an image like that?
There's also another good reason why I want to be extremely formal for all my meetings - it is good for my business image. Take for example one day last week when I had only one meeting with one of my clients Andy (not his real name, for obvious reasons). I know Andy very well and he is usually very casually dressed, so really, I could have dressed down that day as well since it was only him I was meeting. However, I wanted to give Andy the impression that I was a well connected businessman who had friends in high places - so I told him a tall tale about meeting a CEO of a German company who was in town later that day. There was no meeting, no German CEO - no instead, I merely went to get my favourite green tea ice cream in Soho after that meeting. But I didn't want Andy to think that I was actually quite free that afternoon - I wanted him to get the impression that I was a very well-connected businessman with friends in high places who had taken the time out of my busy schedule to spend some quality time with him, for which he should be very grateful. I wanted Andy to always think I was always the man with a mission, with extremely important VIPs to meet; rather than the guy who would have a naughty green tea ice cream treat mid-afternoon instead of rushing back to the office for yet another very important meeting (please see the Family Guy clip below). I dress as if I am meeting very important people all the time, that's the impression I want to give and that's the image that I want people to have of me.
I would also like to touch on a point that Serpentza made in his video: people tend to treat you better when you are in a suit and tie. I find that this is usually the case especially in airports - I usually travel in a suit and tie when I am on a business trip as it is just easier to wear the suit than to fold it into a suitcase. But when I am on a holiday, then no I won't be suited and the way I am treated by security staff is so different when I am in a suit. I suppose there is a lot of interaction with security staff at airports because of the way they have to put our hand luggage through a scanner and make us step through a metal detector, that's why we have a lot more interaction with the staff than say at a train station. Now there's absolutely no reason why they should treat me any different based on what I am wearing, but generally they tend to talk to me in a far more respectful and polite way when I am in a suit. I don't know why wearing a smart suit and tie has that effect on people but I guess it is because I look like I am an important person when smartly suited whilst I look like a backpacking bum when I am jetting off on holiday. So many people are conditioned to react like that when they see a formally suited man. The irony is that I do spend a lot of money on my holidays - poor people don't get to take the kind of incredible holidays I have, but the staff at the airports just don't see that when they see me in my sandals, shorts and T-shirt at the departure gate. You know, it makes no sense at all, but somehow, people just aren't that rational.
Now I know some people would react by saying, oh that's all so wrong because you're appealing to shallow people who jump to conclusions based on their first impressions. Look, I'm not justifying that kind of behaviour of course, but the fact is we do live in a rather shallow world - a lot of the time, people do judge you by the first impression you give them and your life is going to be so much easier if you do take the effort to give people a great first impression. That's the truth - please don't shoot the messenger for the message! Perhaps this is especially important for me as I work in sales and are often meeting people at events, but I am reminded of a former reader of mine who (thankfully) no longer frequents my blog. I am not naming names as I am not picking a fight here but he came across as extremely arrogant. This guy is an expert in his field and he claims that he is such a highly respected expert in his field that people would kowtow to him no matter where he goes, what he wears or how he behaves - he can walk into a business meeting smelling of body odour, pick his nose in front of the client and still get the contract because he's just so great at what he does. Now how do I even begin to point out to him why such an attitude isn't helpful at all? Would you like to work with someone like that? Or how about this - would you like to go on a date with someone displaying that kind of attitude? Now that's a scary thought!
It is not that I doubt his expertise in his field - I'm sure he's a highly competent expert, however, having such an arrogant attitude just doesn't endear you to people at all. Whilst he's undoubtedly good at his job, he's hardly the only expert in his field so if I needed to hire a consultant like him for a project, I'd much rather hire someone who has a much better attitude, someone who is willing to be respectful to me rather than someone as arrogant as the person I have just described above. People who accuse me of being shallow often just use it as an excuse to cover up for their arrogance and selfishness, their unwillingness to give a shit about what other people think. There is of course, a reasonable compromise to be struck: whilst we can make sure we do not judge people by their appearance and take the trouble to get to know them better before jumping to any conclusions, we should also just accept that we do live in a shallow world and if you refuse to take into account the kind of impression you are giving the people you meet, you are simply not going to be liked and can come across as nothing short of a socially inept creep. This goes way beyond being able to do my job as a salesman, I am only too aware of my autism and so I do go the extra mile to make sure I give people a good impression when relating to them. I do want friends, I genuinely want the people around me to like me and most of all, I don't want to be like one of those creeps who are somehow just totally oblivious to how much people detest them.
Here's another question I know some of you may ask: isn't it uncomfortable to be in a suit ad tie all the time? Well, a lot of that has got to do with what you are most comfortable with - going back to my analogy with liking the taste of mangoes, if you simply do not like mangoes, even if I managed to buy a rather expensive mango of the highest quality, you're just not going to enjoy eating it. Likewise, if you are just not a fan of Jain's music, there's no point in me dragging you to one of her concerts as watching her play live isn't going to fundamentally change the way you feel about her music. There's no way I can make a man who is not comfortable in a suit feel comfortable in a suit - feeling comfortable doesn't mean the same kind of comfort I may expect when I lie in a bed or rest in an armchair. For me, comfort is a state of mind, let me give you an example: last summer, I was doing some gardening on my roof garden on a Friday evening after work when my friend who lived a few streets away gave me a call - hey come on over, he said, I have a couple of friends here and we're having drinks in my garden, we have ordered pizza. I thought great, why not - I never say no to an invitation like that! So without verifying what people were wearing, I showed up in the shorts and T-shirt I was wearing whilst gardening and his friends had all come directly from the office - I was the only person not in office attire. Was I physically comfortable in the shorts and T-shirt I had been wearing? Yes I was - but did I feel awkward as I stood out in that group, being the only one so casually dressed? You bet I did, since I wanted to give the people I've just met a good impression.
I have recently talked about older Singaporeans who have lived through WW2, so they often have their minds stuck on 'survival mode' and one aspect of people who have this 'survival mode' mindset is that they have a very simplistic approach to the concept of comfort. To be fair, both my maternal grandparents would be up at the crack of dawn, work 12 to 15 hours a day doing backbreaking hard work, 7 days a week, taking only a few days off a year during Chinese new year. So for people who have lived through that kind of regime, they value their comfort not just in being able to get adequate rest, but it extends to being able to avoid any kind of physical discomfort as far as possible. So for people like that, yeah having to take the trouble to dress up nicely would be seen as an unnecessary kind of activity that would cause them not just discomfort but anxiety as well. In sharp contrast, I pursued gymnastics for many years when I was younger, training extremely hard to make the national team in Singapore and then representing Singapore at many international competitions in my teenage years. I went out of my way to seek hardship, I did the complete opposite of what my grandparents did - their mentality was to spare the body physical hardship in order to live to work another day, literally to avoid dying of exhaustion. My mentality was to work harder than everyone else, just so I can become a little bit better than them and hopefully, that would be enough to make the difference when it comes to the next competition.
Gymnasts do not fear pain or discomfort like normal people: we accept that this is part of the process which brings the results we crave. Heck, every training session starts with a stretching session which is usually very painful and very uncomfortable (have a look at the video below for an idea of just how hard gymnasts are pushed in the flexibility department). Do we feel the pain? Of course we do, but we just accept that we need to do this kind of very painful, very uncomfortable stretching in order to attain the kind of flexibility we need in order to do gymnastics. Then comes the conditioning - that's when we do exercises to build our strength, I used to have a China coach who would push us so hard during condition that the gymnasts regularly threw up from the pain and the exhaustion - we kept a puke bucket in the gym just for that. Thus my relationship with 'comfort' after having been a gymnast is quite different from normal people - I would feel comfortable having known that I had worked harder than everyone else, I wouldn't feel comfortable if I had skipped training to say, watch a movie. I would be just ridden with guilt for having been lazy. So pardon me if I roll my eyes when people complain that wearing a suit is uncomfortable - you want to know what uncomfortable is? Please watch the video below. What is wrong with people these days, why can't they put up with even a little bit of discomfort?
You don't need to become an Olympic champion to benefit from the discipline the professional athletes develop - you only need to do something as simple as jogging to challenge yourself. Do you stop running the moment you start sweating or get tired? You wouldn't get very far like that, would you? No, that's not what jogging is about - you push through the pain barrier, you challenge yourself and you become stronger and faster in the long run. So how does my experience with sports relate to my choice of attire then? Well, from a young age, I have been used to the idea that you have to do some things like stretching which will cause you considerable pain and discomfort in order to reap a greater reward in the long run. Likewise, I know that dressing up in a suit and tie for work all the time may not be the most comfortable thing to wear, but my physical comfort is really the last thing on my mind when I am trying to close a US$100 million investment deal - no, my duty to my employer to secure the deal is my priority and so like the Russian gymnast being stretched by the coach in the video above, I merely ignore any discomfort I may experience and focus on what I am trying to achieve. Furthermore, us gymnasts get used to the pain we experience during our training and we learn to live with it - likewise, I have gotten used to the routine of having to get dressed in a suit and tie in the morning for work.
As for whether I genuinely feel any discomfort when wearing a suit, well the truth is that I do experience a lot of discomfort when the temperature gets above 21 degrees - that's when it is really too hot to wear a suit and tie and I'd probably just wear a shirt and tie to avoid sweating too much (like that is so disgusting). And once it gets above 26 degrees, even wearing a shirt and tie does feel too hot to me. So from late spring to early autumn here in the UK, I have to pick lighter fabrics during the hotter days - fortunately for me, I do have a modern office with air-conditioning, so I can just chill the room down to 18 degrees and look as smart as I want without worrying about sweating. There were days last year when I would travel to the office in a T-shirt and only change into a suit when I get there, just before the meeting to avoid any sweating. Ironically for someone from a tropical country, the hot weather (which I define as anything above 21 degrees) really does make me uncomfortable and suits are really not compatible with hot weather at all. Fortunately, our summers are pretty mild and the temperatures are usually below 25 degrees even in July, though once in a while, we can get a heatwave. Note that this discomfort is weather related, rather than anything to do with the wearing of the suit.
Let's focus on the collar of the shirt for instance: a lot of people complain that it is uncomfortable to wear a tie because it is very tight around the neck, often likening it to a noose. However, the truth is that a lot of men are not wearing shirts that fit them properly. You see, men often think they know the size of their shirts but often over time, they put on weight and may need to get a bigger shirt to fit their fatter necks. You may not think of the neck as a place where fat may accumulate on the body but it is - if you have put on weight over time, then you will need to move up one or two sizes to get shirts that will fit your bigger frame. A lot of men don't do that because they are either in denial about having put on so much weight, or they just can't be asked to go shopping for new shirts - so when they try to do up the top button on their shirts when they wear a tie, they realize it has become very tight and uncomfortable. So instead they curse the conventions of the corporate world and the person who invented the necktie, when really, they have put on weight and are thus simply wearing a shirt one or even two sizes too small! You'll be amazed how many men can be in denial about their obesity. If you do wear a shirt that fits you properly, doing up your top collar and wearing a necktie shouldn't feel uncomfortable at all. By that token, yes, my shirts do fit my neck properly, so I am perfectly happy to wear a tie to work.
I do feel a lot more confident when I am smartly suited - I remember years ago, in my first job in London, I had a colleague called Bridgette. She was tall, pretty and could have been a supermodel; I remember how she was always getting compliments on how amazing she looked. Bridgette and I were good friends - I guess she felt comfortable in my company as the women in the company were jealous of her looks and the straight men were always trying to get into her pants, so as her gay best friend, she could totally relax with me and we ended up spending a lot of time together. I remember getting compliments for just how well I dressed and I thought, well, I'm never going to get compliments for looking beautiful the way Bridgette does, but I can still make people notice me and tell me how well dressed I am if I make an effort - thus by that token, even the most plain, ordinary looking guy can get noticed if he makes an effort through fashion. So yes, I was getting compliments on my appearance like Bridgette - people were saying things like, "Alex, you look great today!" I knew they probably said that because they liked what I was wearing rather than because they thought I was actually handsome but you know what? I'll take it and be grateful for it. That's still better than being one of those boring people in the office who never received any compliments at all because nobody ever noticed them.
In any case, let me just reassure you that I am not just dressing up nicely for the people around me, I am doing it for myself as well! Social media has allowed me to show off my outfits to a far greater audience - I can post a picture of myself on Instagram and instantly, I have my followers from all over the world leaving me nice comments about how great I look. I'm vain - oh I am so extremely vain when it comes to this process of getting strangers to notice me and like me on social media. I do spend a lot of money on my suits, shirts, ties. shoes and accessories. I am always thinking about what I should post next on Instagram and can spend ages trying to take the perfect selfie - whilst my friends take cigarette breaks at work, I take selfie breaks. If you don't know my blog and only knew me through Instagram, you'll probably know me as the bald Asian guy who is always posting selfies of himself in all these nice suits. But hey, I'd rather be the well dressed bald Asian guy on Instagram, because quite frankly, as I am typing this, I am sitting here in shorts and T-shirt (it is nearly bedtime to be fair) and why would anyone want to see me dressed like that? I just don't think I look attractive like that, hell no. I don't feel attractive at all when I am dressed like that - but then again, I'm getting ready for bed, I'm not trying to impress anyone at this hour. However, when I am suited and booted, I feel sexy and confident because I know that at least some people are going to notice how well I am dressed and it would press the right buttons.
So that's it from me on this issue - I could talk about my love affair with formal wear for a long time, but I'll end here. If you're a man, how do you feel about dressing up in a suit and tie? If you're a woman, do you find a man in a suit attractive or not? Should men wear suits more often or not? Please do leave a comment below, many thanks for reading!
Now firstly, allow me to explain what I do for a living in a nutshell and how that relates to my everyday work attire.I work on the sales desk for a corporate finance consultancy specializing in listed debt instruments - so whilst I am facing the customers all the time, there really isn't a need to be as formal as I am. One of the directors that I used to work for often rocked up to the meetings in a shirt and jeans and across the spectrum of people whom I deal with, the dress code tends to range from casual to very formal depending whom you deal with in financial services. There isn't a dress code as such - people wear what they want to which can be anything really these days. I have a bunch of accountants in my company's back office - they hide away in the office all day, working away at their computers and never ever meet the clients, that's why they tend to show up at work in jeans and T-shirts all the time. Quite frankly, nobody cares what they wear as long as they get the work done. I choose to be suited but more to the point, I not only take great pride in my appearance but enjoy dressing up formally. There are many guys who do post selfies of themselves formally dressed on Instagram and most of us follow each others to get inspiration and ideas for how to dress up formally. Quite frankly, the validation I get from those guys means much more to me than my colleagues because I know they understand me, oh the wonders of social media! There is a dedicated suit and tie community on Instagram and I'm proud to be a part of it.
There is quite a difference between guys who wear a suit because it is the dress code for their work environment but they either dislike it or can't bring themselves to say they like wearing a suit. Then there are those like me who genuinely enjoy wearing a suit and tie. I suppose at some level, it is hard to explain why you like something - it is the same way say you like the taste of mango. If you have never had mango before, then you would taste it and without thinking, your mind would then decide if this was an experience you either enjoyed or disliked. So if you ask me why I like mangoes, I suppose I couldn't give you a more complex answer than 'I like the taste of it' - likewise, when you make some guys dress up, some will instantly dislike having to do so whilst others will like it. Or likewise, I can ask you to listen to a song and whether you like it or not is pretty much a gut reaction. So for example, let's take the song Makeba by French singer Jain - the first time I stumbled upon the track on Youtube, I totally fell in love with it. I had no idea who Jain was, there was just something about the beat that made me stop whatever I was doing and think, hey this song is awesome. Try this: please play the music video below and I think within the first minute or so, you'll probably decide if you like it or not.
So yes, I suit up because I like dressing up very much, it is something that appeals to me and I think I look far more attractive when in a smart suit and tie than say, in a pair of shorts and T-shirt. I believe that a man who dresses up looks like he has something important to do and he is making the effort to impress the people he is going to meet. Let's take the example of Mark Zuckerberg, CEO of Facebook who recently had to face the Congress in America over the issue of privacy on Facebook. Did Zuckerberg show up in his usual 'jeans and T-shirt' look? No, it was one of the very few times that he was actually pictured in public in a proper suit and tie. The fact is the politicians Zuckerberg had to face were all formally dressed, so if he had turned up dressed casually, that would probably come across as disrespectful, it would probably send out the wrong message that he didn't take the whole process seriously enough. So to avoid getting off to a bad start and making a bad situation even worse, Zuckerberg dressed up formally for Congress. Now as a salesman, I don't know what my clients may wear to the meetings, but do I want to take the risk of showing up at a meeting dressed less formally than them and risk sending out the wrong message? No, not when there's a sale on the line. Making sales means earning commissions, so I do whatever it takes to make sure I get the sale in order to make the money I want.
Having done quite a lot of TV and film work in the past, I have been through loads of costume fittings in the past. For those of you who are not familiar with this process, allow me to explain how it works. You turn up at the wardrobe department and the head of wardrobe would have a few ideas about how to dress your character - you will then try on a few options they have selected for you, each time you have put on a costume, you will then stand in front of say the head of costume, the director and a couple of others and they will then decide if that is the right look for the character. They will then scrutinize every detail, every accessory - what message does this send to the viewer about the character? What do we know about the character from the script? How can we pick an item of clothing or accessory to make that clear to the viewers? Everything from the choice of socks to hat to even a tiny detail like if the character wears a wedding ring, what kind of wedding ring would he wear? If there is a close up on the character's hands and we can see the ring, what kind of message do we want the viewers to get when they catch a glimpse of that ring? That's what we do when we're watching a film or TV programme instinctively, so why would it be any different in real life? Have a look at the mirror, what kind of character would you be if you appeared in a film or TV programme? Why would the viewers arrive at that conclusion? Take a look at this photo below: what kind of character do you think he would play with an image like that?
I would also like to touch on a point that Serpentza made in his video: people tend to treat you better when you are in a suit and tie. I find that this is usually the case especially in airports - I usually travel in a suit and tie when I am on a business trip as it is just easier to wear the suit than to fold it into a suitcase. But when I am on a holiday, then no I won't be suited and the way I am treated by security staff is so different when I am in a suit. I suppose there is a lot of interaction with security staff at airports because of the way they have to put our hand luggage through a scanner and make us step through a metal detector, that's why we have a lot more interaction with the staff than say at a train station. Now there's absolutely no reason why they should treat me any different based on what I am wearing, but generally they tend to talk to me in a far more respectful and polite way when I am in a suit. I don't know why wearing a smart suit and tie has that effect on people but I guess it is because I look like I am an important person when smartly suited whilst I look like a backpacking bum when I am jetting off on holiday. So many people are conditioned to react like that when they see a formally suited man. The irony is that I do spend a lot of money on my holidays - poor people don't get to take the kind of incredible holidays I have, but the staff at the airports just don't see that when they see me in my sandals, shorts and T-shirt at the departure gate. You know, it makes no sense at all, but somehow, people just aren't that rational.
Now I know some people would react by saying, oh that's all so wrong because you're appealing to shallow people who jump to conclusions based on their first impressions. Look, I'm not justifying that kind of behaviour of course, but the fact is we do live in a rather shallow world - a lot of the time, people do judge you by the first impression you give them and your life is going to be so much easier if you do take the effort to give people a great first impression. That's the truth - please don't shoot the messenger for the message! Perhaps this is especially important for me as I work in sales and are often meeting people at events, but I am reminded of a former reader of mine who (thankfully) no longer frequents my blog. I am not naming names as I am not picking a fight here but he came across as extremely arrogant. This guy is an expert in his field and he claims that he is such a highly respected expert in his field that people would kowtow to him no matter where he goes, what he wears or how he behaves - he can walk into a business meeting smelling of body odour, pick his nose in front of the client and still get the contract because he's just so great at what he does. Now how do I even begin to point out to him why such an attitude isn't helpful at all? Would you like to work with someone like that? Or how about this - would you like to go on a date with someone displaying that kind of attitude? Now that's a scary thought!
 |
| That's me on Bournemouth beach in a suit and tie! |
It is not that I doubt his expertise in his field - I'm sure he's a highly competent expert, however, having such an arrogant attitude just doesn't endear you to people at all. Whilst he's undoubtedly good at his job, he's hardly the only expert in his field so if I needed to hire a consultant like him for a project, I'd much rather hire someone who has a much better attitude, someone who is willing to be respectful to me rather than someone as arrogant as the person I have just described above. People who accuse me of being shallow often just use it as an excuse to cover up for their arrogance and selfishness, their unwillingness to give a shit about what other people think. There is of course, a reasonable compromise to be struck: whilst we can make sure we do not judge people by their appearance and take the trouble to get to know them better before jumping to any conclusions, we should also just accept that we do live in a shallow world and if you refuse to take into account the kind of impression you are giving the people you meet, you are simply not going to be liked and can come across as nothing short of a socially inept creep. This goes way beyond being able to do my job as a salesman, I am only too aware of my autism and so I do go the extra mile to make sure I give people a good impression when relating to them. I do want friends, I genuinely want the people around me to like me and most of all, I don't want to be like one of those creeps who are somehow just totally oblivious to how much people detest them.
Here's another question I know some of you may ask: isn't it uncomfortable to be in a suit ad tie all the time? Well, a lot of that has got to do with what you are most comfortable with - going back to my analogy with liking the taste of mangoes, if you simply do not like mangoes, even if I managed to buy a rather expensive mango of the highest quality, you're just not going to enjoy eating it. Likewise, if you are just not a fan of Jain's music, there's no point in me dragging you to one of her concerts as watching her play live isn't going to fundamentally change the way you feel about her music. There's no way I can make a man who is not comfortable in a suit feel comfortable in a suit - feeling comfortable doesn't mean the same kind of comfort I may expect when I lie in a bed or rest in an armchair. For me, comfort is a state of mind, let me give you an example: last summer, I was doing some gardening on my roof garden on a Friday evening after work when my friend who lived a few streets away gave me a call - hey come on over, he said, I have a couple of friends here and we're having drinks in my garden, we have ordered pizza. I thought great, why not - I never say no to an invitation like that! So without verifying what people were wearing, I showed up in the shorts and T-shirt I was wearing whilst gardening and his friends had all come directly from the office - I was the only person not in office attire. Was I physically comfortable in the shorts and T-shirt I had been wearing? Yes I was - but did I feel awkward as I stood out in that group, being the only one so casually dressed? You bet I did, since I wanted to give the people I've just met a good impression.
I have recently talked about older Singaporeans who have lived through WW2, so they often have their minds stuck on 'survival mode' and one aspect of people who have this 'survival mode' mindset is that they have a very simplistic approach to the concept of comfort. To be fair, both my maternal grandparents would be up at the crack of dawn, work 12 to 15 hours a day doing backbreaking hard work, 7 days a week, taking only a few days off a year during Chinese new year. So for people who have lived through that kind of regime, they value their comfort not just in being able to get adequate rest, but it extends to being able to avoid any kind of physical discomfort as far as possible. So for people like that, yeah having to take the trouble to dress up nicely would be seen as an unnecessary kind of activity that would cause them not just discomfort but anxiety as well. In sharp contrast, I pursued gymnastics for many years when I was younger, training extremely hard to make the national team in Singapore and then representing Singapore at many international competitions in my teenage years. I went out of my way to seek hardship, I did the complete opposite of what my grandparents did - their mentality was to spare the body physical hardship in order to live to work another day, literally to avoid dying of exhaustion. My mentality was to work harder than everyone else, just so I can become a little bit better than them and hopefully, that would be enough to make the difference when it comes to the next competition.
Gymnasts do not fear pain or discomfort like normal people: we accept that this is part of the process which brings the results we crave. Heck, every training session starts with a stretching session which is usually very painful and very uncomfortable (have a look at the video below for an idea of just how hard gymnasts are pushed in the flexibility department). Do we feel the pain? Of course we do, but we just accept that we need to do this kind of very painful, very uncomfortable stretching in order to attain the kind of flexibility we need in order to do gymnastics. Then comes the conditioning - that's when we do exercises to build our strength, I used to have a China coach who would push us so hard during condition that the gymnasts regularly threw up from the pain and the exhaustion - we kept a puke bucket in the gym just for that. Thus my relationship with 'comfort' after having been a gymnast is quite different from normal people - I would feel comfortable having known that I had worked harder than everyone else, I wouldn't feel comfortable if I had skipped training to say, watch a movie. I would be just ridden with guilt for having been lazy. So pardon me if I roll my eyes when people complain that wearing a suit is uncomfortable - you want to know what uncomfortable is? Please watch the video below. What is wrong with people these days, why can't they put up with even a little bit of discomfort?
You don't need to become an Olympic champion to benefit from the discipline the professional athletes develop - you only need to do something as simple as jogging to challenge yourself. Do you stop running the moment you start sweating or get tired? You wouldn't get very far like that, would you? No, that's not what jogging is about - you push through the pain barrier, you challenge yourself and you become stronger and faster in the long run. So how does my experience with sports relate to my choice of attire then? Well, from a young age, I have been used to the idea that you have to do some things like stretching which will cause you considerable pain and discomfort in order to reap a greater reward in the long run. Likewise, I know that dressing up in a suit and tie for work all the time may not be the most comfortable thing to wear, but my physical comfort is really the last thing on my mind when I am trying to close a US$100 million investment deal - no, my duty to my employer to secure the deal is my priority and so like the Russian gymnast being stretched by the coach in the video above, I merely ignore any discomfort I may experience and focus on what I am trying to achieve. Furthermore, us gymnasts get used to the pain we experience during our training and we learn to live with it - likewise, I have gotten used to the routine of having to get dressed in a suit and tie in the morning for work.
As for whether I genuinely feel any discomfort when wearing a suit, well the truth is that I do experience a lot of discomfort when the temperature gets above 21 degrees - that's when it is really too hot to wear a suit and tie and I'd probably just wear a shirt and tie to avoid sweating too much (like that is so disgusting). And once it gets above 26 degrees, even wearing a shirt and tie does feel too hot to me. So from late spring to early autumn here in the UK, I have to pick lighter fabrics during the hotter days - fortunately for me, I do have a modern office with air-conditioning, so I can just chill the room down to 18 degrees and look as smart as I want without worrying about sweating. There were days last year when I would travel to the office in a T-shirt and only change into a suit when I get there, just before the meeting to avoid any sweating. Ironically for someone from a tropical country, the hot weather (which I define as anything above 21 degrees) really does make me uncomfortable and suits are really not compatible with hot weather at all. Fortunately, our summers are pretty mild and the temperatures are usually below 25 degrees even in July, though once in a while, we can get a heatwave. Note that this discomfort is weather related, rather than anything to do with the wearing of the suit.
Let's focus on the collar of the shirt for instance: a lot of people complain that it is uncomfortable to wear a tie because it is very tight around the neck, often likening it to a noose. However, the truth is that a lot of men are not wearing shirts that fit them properly. You see, men often think they know the size of their shirts but often over time, they put on weight and may need to get a bigger shirt to fit their fatter necks. You may not think of the neck as a place where fat may accumulate on the body but it is - if you have put on weight over time, then you will need to move up one or two sizes to get shirts that will fit your bigger frame. A lot of men don't do that because they are either in denial about having put on so much weight, or they just can't be asked to go shopping for new shirts - so when they try to do up the top button on their shirts when they wear a tie, they realize it has become very tight and uncomfortable. So instead they curse the conventions of the corporate world and the person who invented the necktie, when really, they have put on weight and are thus simply wearing a shirt one or even two sizes too small! You'll be amazed how many men can be in denial about their obesity. If you do wear a shirt that fits you properly, doing up your top collar and wearing a necktie shouldn't feel uncomfortable at all. By that token, yes, my shirts do fit my neck properly, so I am perfectly happy to wear a tie to work.
I do feel a lot more confident when I am smartly suited - I remember years ago, in my first job in London, I had a colleague called Bridgette. She was tall, pretty and could have been a supermodel; I remember how she was always getting compliments on how amazing she looked. Bridgette and I were good friends - I guess she felt comfortable in my company as the women in the company were jealous of her looks and the straight men were always trying to get into her pants, so as her gay best friend, she could totally relax with me and we ended up spending a lot of time together. I remember getting compliments for just how well I dressed and I thought, well, I'm never going to get compliments for looking beautiful the way Bridgette does, but I can still make people notice me and tell me how well dressed I am if I make an effort - thus by that token, even the most plain, ordinary looking guy can get noticed if he makes an effort through fashion. So yes, I was getting compliments on my appearance like Bridgette - people were saying things like, "Alex, you look great today!" I knew they probably said that because they liked what I was wearing rather than because they thought I was actually handsome but you know what? I'll take it and be grateful for it. That's still better than being one of those boring people in the office who never received any compliments at all because nobody ever noticed them.
In any case, let me just reassure you that I am not just dressing up nicely for the people around me, I am doing it for myself as well! Social media has allowed me to show off my outfits to a far greater audience - I can post a picture of myself on Instagram and instantly, I have my followers from all over the world leaving me nice comments about how great I look. I'm vain - oh I am so extremely vain when it comes to this process of getting strangers to notice me and like me on social media. I do spend a lot of money on my suits, shirts, ties. shoes and accessories. I am always thinking about what I should post next on Instagram and can spend ages trying to take the perfect selfie - whilst my friends take cigarette breaks at work, I take selfie breaks. If you don't know my blog and only knew me through Instagram, you'll probably know me as the bald Asian guy who is always posting selfies of himself in all these nice suits. But hey, I'd rather be the well dressed bald Asian guy on Instagram, because quite frankly, as I am typing this, I am sitting here in shorts and T-shirt (it is nearly bedtime to be fair) and why would anyone want to see me dressed like that? I just don't think I look attractive like that, hell no. I don't feel attractive at all when I am dressed like that - but then again, I'm getting ready for bed, I'm not trying to impress anyone at this hour. However, when I am suited and booted, I feel sexy and confident because I know that at least some people are going to notice how well I am dressed and it would press the right buttons.
So that's it from me on this issue - I could talk about my love affair with formal wear for a long time, but I'll end here. If you're a man, how do you feel about dressing up in a suit and tie? If you're a woman, do you find a man in a suit attractive or not? Should men wear suits more often or not? Please do leave a comment below, many thanks for reading!
That's an article Why am I always in a suit & tie?
Fine for article Why am I always in a suit & tie? This time, hopefully can benefit for you all. Well, see you in other article postings.
You are now reading the article Why am I always in a suit & tie? With link address https://newstoday-ok.blogspot.com/2018/04/why-am-i-always-in-suit-tie.html