I want to say thank you: part 1
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Title : I want to say thank you: part 1
link : I want to say thank you: part 1
You are now reading the article I want to say thank you: part 1 With link address https://newstoday-ok.blogspot.com/2017/11/i-want-to-say-thank-you-part-1.html
Title : I want to say thank you: part 1
link : I want to say thank you: part 1
news-today.world | Guys, I'm in a good place right now. I've had a very productive week at work and if you remember some weeks ago, I got very nervous about how my bosses wanted me to stop chasing small deals and go for investments which are at least >£1 million? Well, I hate to count my chickens before they hatch, but I have proven to the bosses that I can show some of the world's top institutional investors our projects and ask for a 9 figure sum. That's right, I asked someone for an 9-figure sum last week and we are in the process of negotiating the terms of that deal - my chairman actually came to me in the office and said that he said some very encouraging things to me. For the first time since my job changed radically, I thought, I can actually do this. Why the hell was I wasting my time chasing IFAs to invest £10,000 when I can be asking people for millions, even I can be asking someone to invest £10,000,000, even £100,000,000. If I do pull this of, this will be the biggest deal I have ever worked on in my whole life and even one of the biggest ones in the history of my firm.
What am I feeling now? Actually the word I came up with is 'thankful' - I am thankful, grateful that things worked out okay. Gosh, there were so many times things in my life could have gone off the rails but somehow, I was lucky enough that everything turned out okay. You know, I am an arrogant bastard who goes on and on about how intelligent and talented I am - you only have to look at my Instagram feed to get a taste of my ego, but today I'll like to talk about something else: I'm actually an extremely lucky guy. Some of you may know the highly popular American TV drama series Suits, where Mike Ross was a college drop out who was given a chance to work for one of New York's top lawyer's Harvey Specter - well, I watch Suits because I really identify with Mike Ross. He had a really messed up childhood and teenage years, which led to him dropping out of college despite being exceptionally intelligent. I look back at my own life and think about the many times my life could have gone off the rails given that I spent most of my teenage years fighting with my parents. Look, I was an autistic kid and my parents are off-the-scale when it comes to their autism: it was a recipe for disaster but somehow, I ended up with success. How the hell did that happen? I can't take the credit - my ego would like to tell you that I'm so bloody intelligent that I worked it all out with my superior brain but the truth is, I got a lot of help along the way from many people. In this post, I'd like to talk about these wonderful people who have showed me so much kindness.
My two older sisters
There is a lot of literature that supports the theory that children need a lot of stimulation in their early years - we're talking about the period from as early as 18 months till about 5 to 8 years old. Scientists generally agree that this part of early childhood development is an extremely vital stage of a child's development and once that window period is missed, you can't make up for it in later life. Now when I was that age, my parents were working very hard and sometimes my grandmother stepped in to take care of me, but my two older sisters were always there for me. We weren't a rich family, we didn't have any expensive toys but what we had were our imaginations and my sisters would tell me loads of stories, we would play our own games and create loads of characters. I look at the young children these days and see the way their parents just throw them an iPad and expect some app to replicate that same kind of mental stimulation and I just cringe in despair - the brains of those kids must be like mashed potatoes given the kind of stimulation and interaction they are getting. You know, I took for granted that they had been there for me, then I have come across so many people who are not even close to their siblings or worse, are barely on speaking terms with them. To have not just one but two incredibly nice sisters, I know I am extremely lucky and it would be so wrong not to give them the credit they deserve.
There is definitely a direct link between my prowess with the English language and the way my sisters played with me in my childhood - they provided an environment where I was listened to, where I got to exercise my imagination and creativity. This was vital as most kids in Singapore simply don't get that at all through the education system which was mostly rote learning - I don't think my sisters were trying to get me to learn through play (they were just a few years older than me): I think they were simply trying to create a happy home environment for me, to keep me happy and entertained and the fact that my brain was so stimulated was an unintended (but much appreciated) consequence. My autistic parents had really poor parenting skills but my sisters had always stepped in and were there for me whenever things went wrong and I needed someone to talk to. Sure my parents provided a roof over my head and paid the bills etc when I was a child, but I never ever talked to them - sorry, but one thing you could do was to count on them to always say something thoughtless, inappropriate, tactless or downright stupid. No, when I needed an intelligent person to speak to, when I needed useful advice, I avoided my parents and went to my sisters. Whilst my childhood was a difficult one as an autistic child with autistic parents, my two sisters made life infinitely better for me then - I shall always be grateful to them.
Mr Lee - the former head of SAGA and Mr Foo - former men's national team coach
I got to know Mr Lee when I was very young - he was the head of the Singapore Amateur Gymnastics Association (SAGA) back in the 1980s and 1990s. I was just another kid back then who did gymnastics and it wasn't till around 1989 at the age of 13, when I started showing promise in the sport. Mr Lee then allowed me to train as much as I wanted for free when most other parents had to pay good money for their children to have that kind of access. I trained at the best gyms and with the best PRC coaches in the country then. I had a very formal, very respectful relationship with Mr Lee - we didn't really talk about personal stuff, he just knew that I was a very driven young man who wanted to train all the time and he opened his facilities to me for free. I think there were times he sensed that I was a very troubled kid, that something was never quite right with me. It went beyond my obvious autism, that I was a loner back then who just wanted to train for hours without talking to anyone, but so many things were wrong with my life then. I was being bullied in school, I was fighting with my parents all the time, both school life and home life were quite frankly horrible for me. Going to the gym was the one place I truly felt at home, because I could leave the world at the door and just indulge in my gymnastics. Mr Lee allowed me to have that safe space, where I truly felt safe. Have you ever tried one of those relaxation exercises when you're told to picture a place where you feel truly safe, happy and you can really relax? I would immediately go back to Mr Lee's gym in my mind - except that I wouldn't be relaxing there, I would be training hard!
What am I feeling now? Actually the word I came up with is 'thankful' - I am thankful, grateful that things worked out okay. Gosh, there were so many times things in my life could have gone off the rails but somehow, I was lucky enough that everything turned out okay. You know, I am an arrogant bastard who goes on and on about how intelligent and talented I am - you only have to look at my Instagram feed to get a taste of my ego, but today I'll like to talk about something else: I'm actually an extremely lucky guy. Some of you may know the highly popular American TV drama series Suits, where Mike Ross was a college drop out who was given a chance to work for one of New York's top lawyer's Harvey Specter - well, I watch Suits because I really identify with Mike Ross. He had a really messed up childhood and teenage years, which led to him dropping out of college despite being exceptionally intelligent. I look back at my own life and think about the many times my life could have gone off the rails given that I spent most of my teenage years fighting with my parents. Look, I was an autistic kid and my parents are off-the-scale when it comes to their autism: it was a recipe for disaster but somehow, I ended up with success. How the hell did that happen? I can't take the credit - my ego would like to tell you that I'm so bloody intelligent that I worked it all out with my superior brain but the truth is, I got a lot of help along the way from many people. In this post, I'd like to talk about these wonderful people who have showed me so much kindness.
My two older sisters
There is a lot of literature that supports the theory that children need a lot of stimulation in their early years - we're talking about the period from as early as 18 months till about 5 to 8 years old. Scientists generally agree that this part of early childhood development is an extremely vital stage of a child's development and once that window period is missed, you can't make up for it in later life. Now when I was that age, my parents were working very hard and sometimes my grandmother stepped in to take care of me, but my two older sisters were always there for me. We weren't a rich family, we didn't have any expensive toys but what we had were our imaginations and my sisters would tell me loads of stories, we would play our own games and create loads of characters. I look at the young children these days and see the way their parents just throw them an iPad and expect some app to replicate that same kind of mental stimulation and I just cringe in despair - the brains of those kids must be like mashed potatoes given the kind of stimulation and interaction they are getting. You know, I took for granted that they had been there for me, then I have come across so many people who are not even close to their siblings or worse, are barely on speaking terms with them. To have not just one but two incredibly nice sisters, I know I am extremely lucky and it would be so wrong not to give them the credit they deserve.
There is definitely a direct link between my prowess with the English language and the way my sisters played with me in my childhood - they provided an environment where I was listened to, where I got to exercise my imagination and creativity. This was vital as most kids in Singapore simply don't get that at all through the education system which was mostly rote learning - I don't think my sisters were trying to get me to learn through play (they were just a few years older than me): I think they were simply trying to create a happy home environment for me, to keep me happy and entertained and the fact that my brain was so stimulated was an unintended (but much appreciated) consequence. My autistic parents had really poor parenting skills but my sisters had always stepped in and were there for me whenever things went wrong and I needed someone to talk to. Sure my parents provided a roof over my head and paid the bills etc when I was a child, but I never ever talked to them - sorry, but one thing you could do was to count on them to always say something thoughtless, inappropriate, tactless or downright stupid. No, when I needed an intelligent person to speak to, when I needed useful advice, I avoided my parents and went to my sisters. Whilst my childhood was a difficult one as an autistic child with autistic parents, my two sisters made life infinitely better for me then - I shall always be grateful to them.
I got to know Mr Lee when I was very young - he was the head of the Singapore Amateur Gymnastics Association (SAGA) back in the 1980s and 1990s. I was just another kid back then who did gymnastics and it wasn't till around 1989 at the age of 13, when I started showing promise in the sport. Mr Lee then allowed me to train as much as I wanted for free when most other parents had to pay good money for their children to have that kind of access. I trained at the best gyms and with the best PRC coaches in the country then. I had a very formal, very respectful relationship with Mr Lee - we didn't really talk about personal stuff, he just knew that I was a very driven young man who wanted to train all the time and he opened his facilities to me for free. I think there were times he sensed that I was a very troubled kid, that something was never quite right with me. It went beyond my obvious autism, that I was a loner back then who just wanted to train for hours without talking to anyone, but so many things were wrong with my life then. I was being bullied in school, I was fighting with my parents all the time, both school life and home life were quite frankly horrible for me. Going to the gym was the one place I truly felt at home, because I could leave the world at the door and just indulge in my gymnastics. Mr Lee allowed me to have that safe space, where I truly felt safe. Have you ever tried one of those relaxation exercises when you're told to picture a place where you feel truly safe, happy and you can really relax? I would immediately go back to Mr Lee's gym in my mind - except that I wouldn't be relaxing there, I would be training hard!
Another kind coach who opened the door of his gym to me was Mr Foo - the former men's national team coach who ran the Singapore men's national team programme for much of the 1980s and 1990s. I first came under his tutelage in 1991, when I made the national team. I was the quiet, awkward kid who worked extremely hard and always did as I was told and Mr Foo saw me as a role model for his younger gymnasts because of my work ethic. If I may be honest, I wasn't the most talented or the best gymnast on the team then, but I was definitely the most hardworking one who would go to the gym and train even when I was ill. Did Mr Foo realize I was a very troubled teenager? I'm not sure how much he knew, either way, he opened his gym to me and told me I was welcome to come to his gym at the Chinese High School anytime I wanted and there was a time when I could either go to Mr Lee's or Mr Foo's gym. They would go as far as to remind me to study hard, to make sure I wasn't neglecting my studies. Sometimes they even gave me fed me when they realized I wasn't eating. Admittedly, at the time, I thought, "of course I am entitled to all this, I am on the national team, I'm their star gymnast representing the country, of course they should allow me to train for free in exchange for my talent." But in hindsight, I know I should be extremely grateful for their kindness - I was such a troubled teenager back then and without Mr Lee and Mr Foo keeping an eye on me through those years, giving me a safe place to spend pretty much all my free time, I do wonder what I would have turned to if I had no where else to go given that I hated school and fought with my parents all the time. Both Mr Lee and Mr Foo were my coaches, but they went above and beyond the call of duty to take care of me in those years for which, I am most grateful. I know I am very lucky to have met such incredibly kind coaches.
Mr Truman, my geography teacher at VJC from 1993 to 1994
I ended up at VJC because I loved the idea of doing theatre studies & drama (TSD) as an A level subject. I would have done anything to have avoided doing maths at A levels and TSD was the best option. I managed to get onto both the SSC and humanities scholarship programmes whilst at VJC and that was when I met Mr Truman, my geography teacher for two years at VJC. Not only was he a brilliant teacher, he was different to all the other teachers I had met - don't forget, my parents were teachers in Singapore, so I knew there was a kind of 'pattern' to their behaviour. Singaporean teachers usually made sure they were very formal, they never opened up to their students out of the fear of the students finding out something personal about them and then using that against them. My parents were terrified about the students undermining their authority in the classroom but Mr Truman was not like that. He had a sense of humour, he was honest about his problems in life which he shared with us students: that was quite a shock to me at the time for I was like, woah is he not worried about what the students would do with that information? But no, he trusted us to be mature and sensible about it - to respond with tact and compassion rather than be like childish kids. I remember him telling me about a problem he had (which I shan't repeat here, out of respect for his privacy) and in return, I bought him a Chinese good luck charm to ward off evil. He accepted my gift and I felt a sense of connection with a teacher that I had never ever felt before with any other teacher. He wasn't just my teacher, he was my friend - he was the first teacher I really trusted.
Mr Truman wasn't cold and formal like many of my other teachers and I liked that - he even smoked in front of me a few times, now that's a strict no-no in a Singaporean school. You're not supposed to smoke in front of the students in case they take it as a sign that 'oh if the teacher can smoke then it's okay to smoke' - he trusted me enough to make up my own mind on the issue of smoking. He even swore in front of me a few times, something he would never do in front of the whole class - but with me, he trusted me enough to know that I wasn't going to run to another teacher and complain about his language. And relax, he's retired now so it is not a big deal if I bring up his swearing. It was Mr Truman who told me that I should apply for Oxford - I didn't believe I was good enough. I thought he was mistaken, after all, I was the dumb sports jock who was spending most of my free time training gymnastics instead of studying. I thought that at best I could become a gymnastics coach or PE teacher, but Oxford? That's for the really intelligent students, not me. I remember telling him that you had to be like top 1% to get into Oxford and he replied, "what makes you think you're not precisely just that? I think you are." That was really the first time someone told me he believed I was genuinely brilliant.
You may think that I am an arrogant dick from the way I talk about myself on my blog (and hey, you're probably right about that), but believe you me when I tell you that until Mr Truman told me that I was smart, I didn't really believe it. Look, it is hard to explain: yes I didn't just somehow stumble into two scholarships by the age of 17 without getting good grades - but I thought I got those scholarships by demonstrating that I could do well in my studies whilst representing my country at gymnastics. I didn't think that I could get into Oxford - well, not unless they had a men's gymnastics team. I didn't think I was stupid but I sure as hell didn't believe I was good enough until Mr Truman told me he believed in me. That was a lot more than my autistic parents ever did - they hated the idea of me applying for Oxford because they weren't quite sure how they were going to pay for it and also because, a guy from my mother's church went to Oxford and then committed suicide when he couldn't cope with the pressure there. They wanted me to settle for less, to avoid disappointment - yeah that's right, they didn't even want me to consider applying to Oxford. I don't think my parents were trying to fuck up my future, they just didn't have a clue what they were talking about since neither of them were graduates. I had to tell them, "trust Mr Truman, he's a really good teacher, he cares about me, he cares about all his students". But my parents didn't trust him at all for the simple reason that he was white and my parents are so racist.
I decided to apply to Oxford and Mr Truman gave me extra tuition for free to help prepare me for the exam. He even said that I could save money by staying with his relatives for free if I got in, that he would find a way to help my parents find the money one way or the other if I got in. How many teachers in Singapore would go out of their way to help their students like that? In the end, a bitter twist of fate denied me a place there - they offered me an interview during my BMT and I had to write back to them and say, "I can't go to that interview because I am currently under conscription, I'm not allowed to leave Singapore during my basic military training period." So the next letter that came was a letter of rejection, sure I was disappointed but I then turned to my second choice UCL - who not only accepted me immediately but offered me a scholarship. On one hand, I was so disappointed to have been rejected by Oxford, but at least the scholarship meant my parents didn't have to worry that much about paying for me to go to UCL. But regardless, sometimes in life, you meet someone whose opinion you really value and to know that Mr Truman thought so highly of me, well you have no idea how much that built up my confidence as a teenager. He well and truly changed my life - how many people are lucky enough to have a teacher as incredible as Mr Truman? It has little to do with being intelligent - it has everything to do with being lucky. Who knows what kind of boring life of mundane mediocrity I would have led if I hadn't met him.
I realize that this is going to be a really long piece if I continued into my army days now, for there are a lot of people I have to thank. I had a hard time adjusting to life in the army and some of the most unexpected people came to help me - they didn't have to and my parents sure as hell didn't have a clue what was going on or what they should have done. But I shall leave those stories for part 2, people I have to thank in my NS days. But the moral of the story is this: it doesn't matter how brilliant or intelligent my brain is, without the help of the very kind people in my life like my two older sisters, Mr Lee, Mr Foo and Mr Truman, I would have well and truly messed up my life. Being smart enough to score As in the exams isn't the same as being wise enough to make the right decisions in life. Look, I was a very messed up, socially awkward, autistic kid back then, I didn't have the resources to look for the right people to help me then yet somehow these kind people just appeared in my life. Aren't I lucky? What other word is there to use, if I don't attribute this to sheer dumb luck to have met so many kind people in my life? What about you? Are there people in your life you need to thank? Or perhaps, you have ever helped out a troubled young person in trouble? Leave a comment below, thanks for reading.
Mr Truman, my geography teacher at VJC from 1993 to 1994
I ended up at VJC because I loved the idea of doing theatre studies & drama (TSD) as an A level subject. I would have done anything to have avoided doing maths at A levels and TSD was the best option. I managed to get onto both the SSC and humanities scholarship programmes whilst at VJC and that was when I met Mr Truman, my geography teacher for two years at VJC. Not only was he a brilliant teacher, he was different to all the other teachers I had met - don't forget, my parents were teachers in Singapore, so I knew there was a kind of 'pattern' to their behaviour. Singaporean teachers usually made sure they were very formal, they never opened up to their students out of the fear of the students finding out something personal about them and then using that against them. My parents were terrified about the students undermining their authority in the classroom but Mr Truman was not like that. He had a sense of humour, he was honest about his problems in life which he shared with us students: that was quite a shock to me at the time for I was like, woah is he not worried about what the students would do with that information? But no, he trusted us to be mature and sensible about it - to respond with tact and compassion rather than be like childish kids. I remember him telling me about a problem he had (which I shan't repeat here, out of respect for his privacy) and in return, I bought him a Chinese good luck charm to ward off evil. He accepted my gift and I felt a sense of connection with a teacher that I had never ever felt before with any other teacher. He wasn't just my teacher, he was my friend - he was the first teacher I really trusted.
Mr Truman wasn't cold and formal like many of my other teachers and I liked that - he even smoked in front of me a few times, now that's a strict no-no in a Singaporean school. You're not supposed to smoke in front of the students in case they take it as a sign that 'oh if the teacher can smoke then it's okay to smoke' - he trusted me enough to make up my own mind on the issue of smoking. He even swore in front of me a few times, something he would never do in front of the whole class - but with me, he trusted me enough to know that I wasn't going to run to another teacher and complain about his language. And relax, he's retired now so it is not a big deal if I bring up his swearing. It was Mr Truman who told me that I should apply for Oxford - I didn't believe I was good enough. I thought he was mistaken, after all, I was the dumb sports jock who was spending most of my free time training gymnastics instead of studying. I thought that at best I could become a gymnastics coach or PE teacher, but Oxford? That's for the really intelligent students, not me. I remember telling him that you had to be like top 1% to get into Oxford and he replied, "what makes you think you're not precisely just that? I think you are." That was really the first time someone told me he believed I was genuinely brilliant.
 |
| I read geography at university because of Mr Truman. |
You may think that I am an arrogant dick from the way I talk about myself on my blog (and hey, you're probably right about that), but believe you me when I tell you that until Mr Truman told me that I was smart, I didn't really believe it. Look, it is hard to explain: yes I didn't just somehow stumble into two scholarships by the age of 17 without getting good grades - but I thought I got those scholarships by demonstrating that I could do well in my studies whilst representing my country at gymnastics. I didn't think that I could get into Oxford - well, not unless they had a men's gymnastics team. I didn't think I was stupid but I sure as hell didn't believe I was good enough until Mr Truman told me he believed in me. That was a lot more than my autistic parents ever did - they hated the idea of me applying for Oxford because they weren't quite sure how they were going to pay for it and also because, a guy from my mother's church went to Oxford and then committed suicide when he couldn't cope with the pressure there. They wanted me to settle for less, to avoid disappointment - yeah that's right, they didn't even want me to consider applying to Oxford. I don't think my parents were trying to fuck up my future, they just didn't have a clue what they were talking about since neither of them were graduates. I had to tell them, "trust Mr Truman, he's a really good teacher, he cares about me, he cares about all his students". But my parents didn't trust him at all for the simple reason that he was white and my parents are so racist.
I decided to apply to Oxford and Mr Truman gave me extra tuition for free to help prepare me for the exam. He even said that I could save money by staying with his relatives for free if I got in, that he would find a way to help my parents find the money one way or the other if I got in. How many teachers in Singapore would go out of their way to help their students like that? In the end, a bitter twist of fate denied me a place there - they offered me an interview during my BMT and I had to write back to them and say, "I can't go to that interview because I am currently under conscription, I'm not allowed to leave Singapore during my basic military training period." So the next letter that came was a letter of rejection, sure I was disappointed but I then turned to my second choice UCL - who not only accepted me immediately but offered me a scholarship. On one hand, I was so disappointed to have been rejected by Oxford, but at least the scholarship meant my parents didn't have to worry that much about paying for me to go to UCL. But regardless, sometimes in life, you meet someone whose opinion you really value and to know that Mr Truman thought so highly of me, well you have no idea how much that built up my confidence as a teenager. He well and truly changed my life - how many people are lucky enough to have a teacher as incredible as Mr Truman? It has little to do with being intelligent - it has everything to do with being lucky. Who knows what kind of boring life of mundane mediocrity I would have led if I hadn't met him.
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You are now reading the article I want to say thank you: part 1 With link address https://newstoday-ok.blogspot.com/2017/11/i-want-to-say-thank-you-part-1.html
